An Open Letter to My Brother

My Beloved Chaz,

Words can’t describe the feeling I felt the day you decided to take your life. Even after, they told me that you was gone, part of me still couldn’t believe it because I still tried to call you and text you. It took me 4 years, but I am okay with you being gone. I talked to God and he told me that He has you wrapped in His arms. I never tried to healed because I was so busy being concerned about everyone else. Truth be told, I didn’t want to heal. I didn’t want to believe you was actually gone. But now that you are, I know that you are at peace and that’s all you ever wanted. I’m grateful to God that we were able to know you and feel the love and compassion that you shared with not just us but everyone you met. I miss the talks we would have, the rap battles between you, Ej, Poohman, & Trick. I miss your smile that would bright up any dark room. I just miss you, PERIOD.

As you can see, I have 3 little monsters now, I mean 3 little mini me. Your nieces and nephew are something else. I know if you was here you would be wrestling with all of them including Jordan.

Although you are not here in the physical I am reminded of you through your raps, a joke that you may have said, I even use your word “copacetic” sometimes lol.

This is not a goodbye, this is a see you later. Until we meet again, rest on Chaz 😇

Published by It’s Jess My Thoughts

It’s Jess My Thoughts takes you on a mental journey into my world and how I navigate through this life, chasing God’s purpose for my life all while juggling being a wife, mommy, Leader, sisterfriend. It’s hard work, but it’s all worth it. Take a load off, grab some coffee, and let’s unwind. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

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